Feelings never shown
by Lost in that fairytale
Summary: One school. Hundreds of people. A thriving football team. A glee club on the way to regionals. Everything was finally coming together. Yet Quinn Fabray was finally falling apart.
1. Introduction

**So here is my first Glee story. **

**The story will have Quinn as the focal character, but it's not going to be one following her from the moment she gets up and brushes her teeth to the moment she puts on her pj's and goes to sleep! The other characters will all in turn go on journeys of their own.**

**I can guarantee all pairings will be explored, I'm willing to go with flow with that really and will take any suggestions if you're up for the ride!**

**Anyway enjoy!**

**Oh and I don't own Glee or believe me there would be some notable changes! **

One building. Two floors. Five hundred pupils. Thirty five teachers. One successful football team. One glee club- closer than ever. One Beiste. One dragon-like Cheerio Coach. One counsellor. McKinley High School was buzzing, everyone was coming together. Glee club's popularity was slowly rising. Yet Quinn Fabray had never felt more alone.

Everyone was happy, or at the very least content with what they had. All but one.

Rachel was finding the inner diva within herself, coping alone for the first time and realising she was damn good at it. She was concentrating on who was most important- herself. She was going to take the glee club to regionals, write amazing songs and come out on top. And no one dared tell her any differently.

Brittany was doing what she did best- go with whatever came at her. Artie was there for her and they were just, well them. Neither knew quite why they were together, but neither were going to question it. Artie was making the most of every moment of this reality, never stopping to breathe, and he was doing just fine.

Kurt was on the verge of getting Blaine and keeping him for good. Finally feeling accepted, and feeling just like everyone else for the first time since he joined glee club all that time ago. He had troubles and worries, his life wasn't perfect, but with Blaine he could get through whatever he had to, because he'd never be lonely again.

Mercedes was off with that guy, the one Kurt had focused her on. She wasn't hooked, that wasn't her way. But her eyes lit up every time he shot her a smile, her hands trembled when he casually brushed his hand against hers and her voice cracked a little when she saw him watching her sing though the glee club window. It was new road, but she was excited to see where it would take her.

Tina and Mike were doing better than ever. Thriving even. From the outside looking in they looked peaceful. Perfect. She'd sing, he'd dance, they dance and sing together. If she was upset he's wrap his arms around her and tell her everything was going to be alright. If he was upset she'd know exactly what to do. They just fit.

Puck was just being himself, but Lauren was changing him slightly. He was learning things even Quinn couldn't show him. He'd never let on, but she was teaching him how to be better. Something even baby Beth couldn't do. He didn't know why he liked her, and she didn't know why she out up with him, but they did. It was just that simple.

Santana was being well- Santana. Sticking her throat down Sam's throat at every opportunity and making sure to wrap herself around him as tight as she could. Sam just held on, glad for what he could only think of as fresh air. That was what she was- fresh air. Something new and exciting. They both knew it wasn't serious and wouldn't last, but neither really cared that much.

And Finn. Finn was going wherever he was lead. He didn't have a path and therefore had no guidelines. He was going from day to day, something he hadn't been able too for a long time. He had no boundaries, no one to hold him down. He wasn't thinking deeply like he had been forced to for so long. He was just going to relax, and live without having to think. Just the way he liked it.

Yet, there was one. The one you'd expect to be strong was crumbling. So much had been buried, so much had been dragged up to the surface. The regrets, the disappointment, the love, the hate, the fear. She had no one to hide behind, she had no one there to hold her hand and go through the storm with her.

She had lost or pushed away everything that had ever mattered to her and now she was alone, and watching everyone else's happiness just sent her into memories. Memories that would never fade. A kiss in the hot tub, a baking session with flour everywhere, a baby looking up from her arms, a ring shining under the lights of a classroom, a promise now lost along with everything else.

A world of promises and could have beens that were forced to be forgotten, pushed away…

A world that not only threatened the very foundations of who Quinn Fabray was, but also the happiness of every one else.


	2. Alone

So, here's the next chapter. If you're actually reading this drop me a review, just so I know that in these things I'm not speaking to myself!

I've decided this is going to be a story that really explores Quinn's relationships with everyone, and also everyone elses relationships in turn. Because so many relationships have no ending with Quinn at this moment.

Enough babbling!

"Quinn? You okay?" Mr Schuester asked, staring up at the blonde, who sat gazing dreamily into the back wall, her arms wrapped around her stomach tightly. She hadn't been the same since Sam broke up with her- that was normal. But this was getting a bit extreme.

"What?" she answered, letting her eyes meet his.

And he was shocked. He hadn't seen so much hurt in one person's eyes since the day he saw Puck's when he picked little Beth up out of her hospital crib and put her into Shelby's waiting arms. Even then Quinn just stood silent, her eyes following the baby, but she didn't look as bad as she did in that second.

She just looked dead. There was so much pain behind her eyes. She looked lost, and confused, and hurt and angry.

"I… I asked f you were okay," he said gently, walking over to kneel in front of her.

"I'm fine," she whispered gently, and for a split second he thought she was going to let a tear escape from her eye, but then she stopped, regained her posture, as Santana's laugh, more like a cackle, echoed into the room.

"Quinn…" he began, not believing for one moment what she was saying, something wasn't right, even he could see that and he was just her teacher.

"No really I'm fine, I love glee club," she said, her lips forming a sort of grin, but Will wasn't sure whether it was a grimace or a smile. With the look she gave the four walls, he was sure there was a hint of bitterness there, she was cold.

Yet, her couldn't question her further, because Sam and Santana walked in closely followed by every other member of Glee Club. He just looked her sadly in the eyes as she pushed her hair behind her ear and crossed her legs again, sitting up straight.

"If you want to talk…" he started, before she could sharply shake her head. The hurt from her eyes was gone and instead you couldn't see in. A barrier was up, one he suspected hadn't been down properly since the day Finn told her he was done with her. The choir room still had echoes from that day. The sound of Quinn's crying will stick with every person there that day, as she clutched hold of her bump. The sound of Finn's yell would haunt Quinn whenever she looked at him and then looked back at herself.

"No, I don't want to talk," she said firmly, pushing him away. "Now you better start."

He nodded reluctantly and walked to the front of the class to see where everyone had sat, and he noticed something he hadn't seen before.

She was alone.

Finn sat at the front, just simply staring at the board, occasionally casting an eye back to Quinn, but not for more than a second, before he shook his head and faced the front again. Something had gone on there, everyone could see. Finn was hurt and Quinn was distant.

Mercedes sat by Rachel, pretending to listen to the story about her headband. Will couldn't help but laugh as he saw Mercedes calmly tell her the song was as bad as Finn had said and that there was no way she was going to perform it at regionals with her.

Santana had wrapped herself around Sam so tightly he could barely believe he could breathe. She was whispering something about how they were going to breadstix that night and there was nothing he could do to stop her filling up his backpack with sticks. Sam would occasionally let his one eye wander over to the blonde in the corner, but then he'd remember why it wasn't her sat on his lap, and he'd kiss Santana to silence her.

Mike and Tina sat in a bubble of there own, Tina complaining jokily about Mike's mom and only getting to eat Asian food while Mike tried to work out a dance routine with Brittany, who sat on Artie lap. Artie was just laughing at everything happening in front of him, to happy to look around at anyone.

Puck sat by Lauren in silence, not knowing properly what to say that wouldn't lead to some form of put down. Neither were uncomfortable though, that was just how they went. Some times they'd be talking like there was no tomorrow, mainly arguing, others they'd just sit in silence. Puck would also look at Quinn occasionally, not in the Sam way as Finn or Sam though. When he looked at her, it didn't look like he was seeing her, but a memory instead. Pain and sorrow would show briefly, his arms would get heavy and he'd see a baby sleeping softly in a pink blanket. Then he'd grunt and go back to looking at Lauren, pushing past the memory and back to reality.

Then there was Quinn, sat all alone in the corner. Although people knew she was there, no one would go and talk to her. Finn didn't know where he stood, Sam was still angry, it hurt Puck too much and she'd lost any friendship she'd ever had with anyone else. Even Mercedes and Quinn rarely spoke.

In a crowded room Quinn Fabray was all alone, and Will Schuester knew that he could do nothing to help her.


	3. I wanna cry

This chapter is going to focus a little on faberry (friendship only) and the dynamics of that (not planning on going down that route though, just want to explore that relationship) and then try and break the surface of Quinn's issues. Each chapter will focus on something different hopefully!

This chapter is very very loosely based around the Keith Urban song- Tonight I wanna cry, so it may be a good idea to listen to that.

Thanks so much to all who review, I get all happy when you do. I will be better with updating now as my week of mocks are over!

Quinn sat in the auditorium silently, looking up at the row upon row of chairs. It was a place where she came to just think. She had to do a lot of that lately, as she didn't really have that many people to talk to. Sure people would ask her how her day had been, but they didn't really care for her answer. So she just smiled, said fine, said something sarcastic and walked off, pretending like she had somewhere better to go.

She never did.

Occasionally, in the midst of thought, Quinn would begin to softly hum a tune. It was never anything glam, no big dance routines or power ballads, but something that expressed just who she was. Always a solo, never a duet. Until that Tuesday.

As she began to hum a song she heard on the radio, she heard the familiar voice of another glee club member come in and sing a perfect harmony to what she was mindlessly singing.

Quinn stopped abruptly, as soon as she heard the noise and quickly pulled herself together. She blinked away the tears from her eyes and turned around slowly, letting her death stare come back.

"What are you doing here?" she asked coldly, seeing Rachel standing towards the back of the stage, staring at her, a confused look in her eyes at the blonde.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked as quietly as she could, showing genuine concern, or as much as she could for someone who was slowly taking the heart of the boy she loved. Something had been up with Quinn, everyone had noticed, but everyone else swept it under the carpet. She had too until she saw her there that day.

"Of course I am," Quinn snapped, turning around to face the seats once more, closing her tired eyes. "Why wouldn't I be."

"You're make-ups run," Rachel replied, taking a few hesitant steps towards her, not knowing if she should be prying where she didn't belong.

"I have hay fever," Quinn replied quickly, rubbing her eyes feverishly with her cardigan sleeve, leaving black stains on the once immaculate white material. She didn't need this.

"It's march," Rachel replied questioningly, as she went and sat next to Quinn, staring to the seats also.

"So? What's with the concern all of a sudden, you never really cared that much before," Quinn asked, sliding away from Rachel's small body.

"I just know what a hard year you've had…" she said, just realising exactly what Quinn had gone through, having never really thought about it that much before. She just took Quinn to be someone brave enough to cope, clearly things were harder than anyone had seen on the surface.

When Quinn stayed silent Rachel began to speak once more. "I mean what with getting pregnant, Finn finding out, you giving Beth up, you and Puck not talking, Sam breaking up with you…"

"Yes, I know my life story thank you," Quinn replied, her voice cracking slightly, as all the memories flashed back.

"I've just never seen you deal with it though," Rachel said, not holding back. "You just never want to talk about it. I mean you gave up a child for goodness sake and the next week you're back at school like nothing's happened. You barely even speak to Puck…"

"Have you ever thought that maybe I can't?" yelled Quinn suddenly, turning to face Rachel. "Did it ever get through your stupid head that maybe I can't cry, because if I cry I'll loose my self control, the one thing I have left. That I can't remember the baby I gave away, because it's a baby I will never be able to get back. That I can't look at Puck without blaming myself for everything he's gone through…"

"Quinn," said Rachel, never realising how hurt she was, never thinking that the reason she was so cruel was because she had so much pain buried deep inside her. She leant out an arm to hug her, to which Quinn seemed to relax into before reality hit her and she jumped up.

"Get off me. I don't need you sympathy Rachel, I don't need anything from you. I just need to get on with my life and forget the past. And you need to forget we ever had the conversation," she snapped, before flying out of the room, leaving a startled Rachel to sit and replay the words in her head.

Quinn stormed out into the rain outside, letting her tears mix with the rain, as she slid down a wall to sit down and put her head between her hands. In that moment, she had just had enough. She didn't care who saw her, she didn't care about her pride or her status.

On that night, she just wanted to cry.


End file.
